The tranquil, elegant and majestic bloom of a lotus inspires myriad emotions and responses. It is a symbol of hope and new beginnings for many. Imagine its origins in deep, dark, murky waters of a lake or pond. It has struggled to reach for sunlight and fresh air, emerging in all its pristine glory, clean, untouched and pure. Its plush, velvety petals glisten brilliantly. It sits propped up on its throne of succulent lotus leaves that fan out around it.
You peer into the still water and gaze at its near-perfect reflection. It is hard to tell apart the original from the mirage. Until, a pebble is tossed into the water, or a sudden rush of breeze creates a swift ripple on the water’s surface disturbing the almost perfect reflection of the lotus. Suddenly, the image is distorted, and you think for a fleeting moment the lotus has disappeared.
Positive Psychology teaches us to distinguish between genuine and toxic positivity. It is easy to get swayed by the chant of ‘think positive’. Positivity gone awry overuses ‘silver lining’ thinking, imposes forced cheerfulness, dismisses genuine struggles, negative emotions and stark reality. It is distinctly different from genuine and real positivity. The character strength of hope is just as subtle and abstract.
Real Hope is the authentic lotus flower. False Hope is its shifty reflection in the water.
Dr. Jerome Groopman, MD, author of The Anatomy of Hope (2003) says “Hope can arrive only when you recognize that there are real options and that you have genuine choices. Hope can flourish only when you believe that what you do can make a difference. To have hope then is to have a belief that you have some control over your circumstances.”
He sifts through the differences between the two elements of Real Hope and False Hope.
FOUNDATION
- REAL HOPE – Rooted in reality: With eyes wide open you are aware of and acknowledge the hard facts, risks and challenges ahead of you without delusion.
- FALSE HOPE – Rooted in ignorance: With eyes tightly shut you invite magical thinking, or fanciful assumptions of success and get stuck in denial.
FOCUS
- REAL HOPE – Focuses on actionable paths: You rise to the challenge and logically think of alternatives to influence circumstances, like exploring new treatments or coping strategies.
- FALSE HOPE – Focuses on a singular outcome: You harbor expectations of a specific, highly desired result without a realistic plan to achieve it.
MINDSET
- REAL HOPE – Accepts self-agency: You are an active participant. You empower yourself to make choices, take action, and move forward even when the overall situation is bleak. You draw upon internal resources.
- FALSE HOPE – Surrenders control: You are a passive recipient. You remain inert as you rely solely on external resources, luck, idealistic predictions, or the actions of others to garner positive results.
RESULT
- REAL HOPE – Builds resilience: You rise from the ashes like a phoenix. You leverage courage and sustain it despite setbacks. You grow flexibility and toughness and cultivate the ability to bounce back from adversity.
- FALSE HOPE – Leads to collapse: You fold and give up discouraged. Your spirits crumble when reality and harsh facts stare you in the face relentlessly, resulting in anguish and hopelessness.
It benefits us to learn how to seed and grow true hope.
Feel free to admire the reflection of the lotus in the water and marvel at its likeness. But know that is all that it is. A fleeting, transient presence that can disappear as quickly as it appears. Hold the real lotus in your line of view and know it is there through thick and thin, through rain or shine. In Dr. Groopman’s words, “It is the middle ground where both truth and hope can reside.”
“Hope is as vital to our lives as the very oxygen that we breathe.”
