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To make your way closer to your Ikigai, sometimes you have to change your orientation towards your North Star.  To act on this desire to shift direction, you also have to declare your intention: both to yourself and to those around you.  When you utter it out loud, your frontal lobe of the brain (cortex) gets the message that you have created an intention, and the reward center lights up. The reward is not only possible, it is now probable.  The motivation circuitry is awakened and a positive feedback loop is generated.  “A positive feedback loop in a natural system amplifies the effects of a minor change, which become self-reinforcing and the system responds.” 

Continue reading “Speaking Up”

A client recently started her coaching engagement with a declaration that her big vision, her North Star had shifted. Life circumstances had prompted this. Instead of climbing the corporate ladder as she had done for years, she now wanted to focus on global climate change issues and being present for her family, as a young parent. Following her purpose in life and personal fulfillment were her new areas of passion. This was not going to be an easy passage as the former was all she had known her adult life.  It had brought her immense joy and meaning thus far.  No more.  It wasn’t as fulfilling anymore.

Continue reading “Changing Direction”

As you head out into the New Year on the journey of cultivating your Ikigai, you may want to pay attention to what travel aids you would like to pack with you to make this a promising, yet pragmatic, and proficient passage.  
 
Start by identifying when you are the happiest.  What are those times when you are so absorbed in life that everything else fades into the background becoming inconsequential?  This is not a fleeting, momentary pleasure but a state of sustained happiness. To be completely immersed in that moment is to be in Flow.   

Continue reading “Your Compass and Map”

As you sit back and review the year that has passed, I wonder how many of you are reflecting on what was meaningful and fulfilling for you.  With all the traditional gift exchanges, consider giving yourself the gift of Ikigai.  ‘Ikigai’ originates in Japan representing Iki (life) and Gai (worth).  A life worth living. 

Continue reading “Give Yourself the Gift of Ikigai”

I feel compelled to repost this article I had written back in December 2016.  Of late I have noticed a surge of  the ‘Be Good’ Mindset in my coaching sessions.  So once again I am bringing to the forefront this very important distinction. 

Most of us walk around with what is known as the ‘Be Good’ mindset.  We believe we have to be good at something: an activity, job, career or profession. We also yearn to be good as somebody: spouse, parent, relative, employee, or leader.  It does not matter what life area or life role we look at, we tell ourselves we have to be good at it. 

Continue reading “To ‘Be Good’ or ‘Not’… ‘Get Better’ instead”

Continue reading “Tempering Higher Strengths”

Dr. Neal Mayerson, Founder & Chairman of the VIA Institute on Character, talks about the towing of character strengths.  The towing principle refers to using an already well established strength to boost another less developed strength by towing it along like a tugboat. The VIA Institute refers to this phenomenon in which the expression of one strength naturally elicits the expression of other strengths as “the towing principle” or “virtuous circle.”

Continue reading “Towing Lesser Strengths”

Our highest strengths tend to span the top five of the 24 VIA character strengths, and are aptly called Signature Strengths. Life circumstances may cause them to move up or down in rank, but for the most part they represent who we are at our very core.  They energize us, are easy to engage, and essential to our identity.  They do not exact effort or forethought, as they are second nature to us.  It is to our benefit to apply these regularly and keep polishing them.  Not only do they enhance our personal wellbeing, they also impact our social and work relationships, and extend our influence to the community.

Continue reading “Scaffolding your Strengths”

Overuse of the Strength of Kindness

Our toddler grandson was being toilet-trained during a visit to our home this summer.  As he was heading to the bathroom he asked me, “Do you have raisins?”  I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to respond to this query.  Seeing my bewildered look, I was informed that he was to be rewarded with either one or two raisins depending on the success of the outcome.  I raised my eyebrows and smiled indulgently.  “Yes, I have raisins.”  Within minutes he returned with his tiny palm outstretched. “Aji, please give me two raisins,” he smiled gleefully and triumphantly. 
 
Happily I dug into the raisin box and scooped out a handful to deposit them into his hand.  “No, you have to give me two only.  You gave me too many.”  He diligently counted them, and handed back the extra raisins.  I marveled at how principled he was.  I also recognized that he was perfectly content with the reward he had received.  The two raisins reassured him that he was on the right track and he felt acknowledged and rewarded. They were enough.  He did not desire more just because they were freely available.  More is not always better.

Continue reading “Too Many Raisins”

The Virtue of Wisdom II

‘Wisdom describes strengths that help you gather and use knowledge’. 
VIA Institute on Character
The last two strengths grouped under the virtue of wisdom are judgment and perspective.
 
4. Judgment: “is critical thinking, weighing evidence fairly, thinking things through, and examining the evidence from all sides rather than jumping to conclusions.”  This is the ability to take a 360° view of a situation to scan for details and finer nuances that leads to sound decision making.  It is about engaging in out of the box thinking and looking for alternatives before arriving at a solution.  It is about unbiased approaches that allow for previously untapped resources to surface, instead of staying stuck in habitual patterns.  It is about being flexible to hearing others’ viewpoints to shift out of one’s narrow myopic vision. Good judgment is about remaining non-judgmental! Staying open to both old and new information is the hallmark feature of this strength. 

Continue reading “Your Point of View”