Grow Gratitude

How do you grow and tend Gratitude?

“Many times we feel the gratitude within ourselves but don’t express it. What could be the reason?”  This was a question recently asked of me.  It got me searching.  As Robert Emmons, leading expert on gratitude says so well, “Just because gratitude is good doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Practicing gratitude can be at odds with some deeply ingrained psychological tendencies.”

  1. A self-serving bias (when something good happens we credit ourselves for it, and when something bad happens we attribute it to others).  We need to recognize when good happens because of others.
  2. A need to be in control of our environment.  We need to give up control to accept someone else’s part in our life.
  3. A just-world hypothesis (we believe we get what we deserve and are entitled to it).  We need to accept that we often get more than we deserve.
Knowing these inherent challenges, it gives us even more reason to cultivate a regular practice of gratitude.  Instead of depending on random expression of thanks, we could create a discipline.  Consider some ways to do so:
  1. Gratitude List.  Create a list of 3 – 5 people or situations you are grateful for.  Even more powerful is to identify 1 person or situation and 5 reasons why.  The bonus is in the detail.  Make this a daily or weekly habit.
  2. Gratitude Journal.  Reflect on the gifts you have received and appreciate them.  This removes negativity and invites positivity.
  3. Gratitude Letter / Visit.  Tell a person what you appreciate about him / her and write a note.  Better yet, deliver it in person.
  4. Gratitude Walk.  Go outside and let your senses come alive as you see, hear, touch, smell and notice the good around you.
  5. Gratitude Reminders.  Keep a jar that you fill with slips of gratitude.  Create a collage on which you add images of gratitude.  Wear a bracelet and every time you put it on make a mental note of gratitude.

Emmons recommends 10 ways to become more grateful , including finding silver linings in black clouds.

At the Greater Good Gratitude Summit, 2014, Nipun Mehta, Founder of Service Space spoke eloquently on Making Gratitude Viral.  He tells the story of Karma Kitchen, Berkeley, CA,  ‘a volunteer driven experiment on generosity’.  It is based on the concept of receiving a meal as a gift from someone who came before and being invited to gift a meal to the next patron.      He states that an act of gratitude causes mental stillness, which ties us to our interconnectedness which then leads us to pay it forward, proving that gratitude is generative. “One act of gratitude begets another act of gratitude which begets a third act of gratitude”.  He inspires us to create an entire ecosystem of gratitude.

We can begin by taking that first step to creating a gratitude practice.  Let me take mine.  Thank you for being such gracious readers.  You give me the impetus to keep writing.

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