Category: Life Work Flourishing Coaching Blog

An equestrian trains for months to participate in horse competitions, events such as show-jumping, dressage, or cross-country riding.  In these equine events s/he is showcasing the partnership between horse and rider.  Athletic skills requiring precision in horse’s balance and responsiveness, along with the rider’s harmonious connection and communication with the horse are practiced and polished.  The rider may enter the summer Olympics for such events. If his focus is endurance and horse racing, he might set his sights on the Kentucky Derby.
 
The ambition to achieve a specific goal drives the rider’s motivation and propels her through the grueling work of preparing and perfecting skills needed to attain that end.  The goal to win the coveted Gold Medal at the Olympics, or the Derby Trophy at the ‘Run for the Roses’ may be the grand ambition.  But what if she aspires for greater horsemanship?  What would shift?

Workplace meaning can be a ‘hot potato’ topic for many leaders.  The wariness could stem from the realization that it seeps into such esoteric areas as religion and spirituality.  The word meaning is inherently both rich and broad, robust and expansive.  Kellerman and Seligman in Tomorrowmind believe workplace meaning is a term that lends itself to ambiguity and hence managers shy away from such conversations with their team members. 

The authors offer the term ‘Mattering’ as a more measurable and actionable alternative.  At the end of the day we want to know that our work matters and makes an impact.  What we do influences other people, organizations, processes, environment, or the world.  We make a difference!  Mattering can be considered a highly concrete subset of meaning. 

American explorer Mark Dickey was rescued on September 12th from a deep cave in Turkey after becoming ill and being trapped for 9 days.  It was more than a mile below the earth’s surface.  You might wonder what draws people into the belly of the earth.  On the surface these hazardous situations baffle us.  Dig deeper.  You will find purpose.  He was on a mission to map one of the deepest caves in the world.  Cartography is needed to research mineral resources, protect water supplies and many other invaluable uses for the planet.  An explorer’s mission is noble. 

The VIA Institute on Character classifies the free-spirited character strength of Creativity under the stately virtue of Wisdom. It groups together those strengths that gather and use knowledge.  How does this apply to creativity?  At first glance creativity appears to be something that happens spontaneously, with the leeway to roam and meander whimsically with no purpose or plan set to action.  Yet the VIA Institute proclaims unequivocally “There are two essential components to Creativity – originality and adaptiveness.”  Innovation is only the beginning when it sparks imagination.  It has to be followed up with practical use for it to be considered creativity. 

A young woman is demonstrating to her eager grandmother the world of connectivity through the mobile phone.  It is captivating to see the genuine joy of one and the incredulous delight of the other.  This moment in time is alive with shared energy that is emotional, social, psychological and biological. 
 
This is that moment when both parties experience the positive effects of social connection. Mirror neurons (type of brain cells) are firing in the brain, heart rates are syncing, oxytocin also known as the ‘love hormone’ is being released, and the parasympathetic nervous system is being activated lowering all vital signs to equilibrium.  This brings us to a rest and recharge mode.  It is a biological wonder that brings about ‘an embodied feeling of connection”. 

Sister Elisabetha, Principal at St. Ann’s High School, Secunderabad, India, was a tall, stately, well-liked nun.  Her imposing figure in a well-pressed habit and veil commanded respect.  I remember her especially for her two edicts.  First, “Don’t show all your thirty two teeth.  Learn to smile like a lady.” The other was, “I do not ever want to hear that you are bored.  There is always something to do.”
 
I was not quite able to embrace the first dictum.  I just could not muster a demure smile, invariably sporting a Cheshire cat grin instead.  The second counsel I integrated somewhat fiercely.  Whenever I felt the smallest whiff of boredom, I got busy with something.  I told myself it was a slippery slope I never wanted to go down.  Alarm bells would go off and I scuttled to find a task to do, or an idea to focus on.  I have shuddered at the thought of boredom. 

As a grandfather gazes into the eyes of his infant granddaughter spellbound, he may ponder, “What moonshot will she aspire to?  Will she go to Mars?”  As his  grandchild stares into the eyes of her adoring grandfather mesmerized,  she may wonder, “Who is this? What’s he all about?”  They are both transfixed, full of awe and curiosity, looking through their own lens, into the lens of the other, that then transforms into a prism of boundless possibilities.
 
When you look through a triangular prism you see white light being dispersed into a rainbow of brilliant colors.  The same principle of physics can be applied to life and work too.  When you look at a situation through the prism of positivity you see a rainbow of vivid possibilities.  

To make your way closer to your Ikigai, sometimes you have to change your orientation towards your North Star.  To act on this desire to shift direction, you also have to declare your intention: both to yourself and to those around you.  When you utter it out loud, your frontal lobe of the brain (cortex) gets the message that you have created an intention, and the reward center lights up. The reward is not only possible, it is now probable.  The motivation circuitry is awakened and a positive feedback loop is generated.  “A positive feedback loop in a natural system amplifies the effects of a minor change, which become self-reinforcing and the system responds.” 

A client recently started her coaching engagement with a declaration that her big vision, her North Star had shifted. Life circumstances had prompted this. Instead of climbing the corporate ladder as she had done for years, she now wanted to focus on global climate change issues and being present for her family, as a young parent. Following her purpose in life and personal fulfillment were her new areas of passion. This was not going to be an easy passage as the former was all she had known her adult life.  It had brought her immense joy and meaning thus far.  No more.  It wasn’t as fulfilling anymore.