You are astride a racehorse, and you are in the middle of a terrifying turn, when it takes all you have got to keep your body aligned, adjust your rein tension and leg pressure to guide the horse. Even as you feel intense trepidation rise within you, you keep going, trusting the process.
Fear is a reaction. Courage is a response. When you experience fear as an emotional reaction to a situation, you choose to respond by acting with courage. It is a decision you make to face the situation. Fear and courage are two sides of the same coin. They are interrelated.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~ Nelson Mandela
This is showing up in the workplace increasingly. Teresa was anxiously awaiting a promotion for several months. Numerous mounting responsibilities were being assigned to her, without the salubrious recognition by way of job title and / or salary. The postponement of the promised action kept stretching indefinitely, much to her chagrin. She finally gathered gumption to communicate with HR about her expectations, highlighting the core values of the organization and how their inaction was not reflective of the same. This ruffled feathers and even earned her a sharp rebuke for such an ‘uncalled for’ email. Yet, she held her ground, explained her intent respectfully in-person which brooked a positive response, and she got her promotion!
Handwringing, gut-wrenching insecurity, frantic pacing and sleepless nights may accompany such acts of courage. Yet, without the willingness to venture forth, we cannot garner positive results.
In Dare to Lead researcher Brené Brown tells us, “Courage and fear are not mutually exclusive.” She introduces the concept of Rumbling with Vulnerability. “Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.”
Miriam saw how the organization was faltering due to imbalance of power. She took it upon herself to walk up to their CEO with deference and humility and show him her vision of the structural set-up of the organization that could right the wrongs. Her initial doubts “Who am I to speak to him like that?” were replaced with delighted surprise. She was heard. That very day there were internal changes being put in place with shift of hierarchical tiers. She had been thinking of leaving, instead she now sees a new landscape that speaks to her and offers her scope to engage in work responsibilities that she could flourish in! It would not have happened if she had not decided to have that courageous communication with her leader.
Author and speaker Simon Sinek emphasizes the importance of a leadership skill that often goes unrecognized, “Courage. It takes courage to speak truth to power. It takes courage to admit you don’t know something. It takes courage to admit you made a mistake. It takes courage to have a difficult conversation. It takes courage to step into discomfort. And I think it is undervalued.”
Hard truths, unpopular proposals, structural changes, constructive feedback, difficult conversations are examples of courageous communication. We face these decisions in our personal, social and professional lives. They are not bereft of fear and self-doubt. In spite of that we choose to step forward. We learn to embrace and own vulnerability as a strength. We learn to receive and offer feedback that feels uncomfortable and yet is necessary for growth. We learn to face uncertainty and impermanence with resolute determination.
Why do we do it: to stay aligned with our core values and belief systems.
How do we do it: by preparing conscientiously, staying focused on our good intentions, being respectful of the other party.
What do we do: have courageous communication.